


ghosts are blue-green. my heart is amber.

by maidswaltz



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst, Assisted Suicide, Death, F/F, Grief/Mourning, Hurt No Comfort, I'm Sorry, Love Confessions, Spoilers, possible ooc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 23:28:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30063213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maidswaltz/pseuds/maidswaltz
Summary: sky swims in pink, peach, and lavendershadows shimmer in the icea light comes onand then anotherlike flickering firefliesinviting you to playsomeone laughs- Dusk, by Yash Seyedbagheri
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede/Tojo Kirumi
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	ghosts are blue-green. my heart is amber.

**Author's Note:**

> a lot of mentions of death, suicide, and grief up ahead. please stay safe /srs

The room darkened. A small screen flashed up ahead, indicating that the voters had reached a verdict. Monokuma let out a ghastly snicker, that slowly erupted into laughter, as he shrieked, "You were right! Kaede Akamatsu, your _loving_ friend, was the murderer of Mr. Amami!" 

The room was silent for all but a second, before the first noise was made. Kaede looked up towards Kirumi and Shuichi, her eyes tear-filled, red, and puffy. And she recounted her final wish, as Kirumi sobbed like nothing before, and Shuichi seemed paralyzed. Tears fell, but he barely made noise. The only indication he was even still alive was the slow, steady rise and fall of his chest.

This can't be happening. _This can't be happening._

Kirumi kept repeating this in her mind as Monokuma gave them a measly five minutes to say goodbye. No one said anything, and she must have been the first to open her mouth. Not that she could remember much though, as the day was such a haze in her brain. It refused to let her remember _exactly_ what happened, as some kind of fucked coping mechanism.

"Kaede. There is something I may have... neglected to tell you during my time serving you."

Kaede looked over at her, the look of a man long since dead in her eyes. She had accepted her fate already. She nodded for Kirumi to continue as a lone tear fell down her face.

"I think that I have broken a promise I made. To myself. To never love someone while on the job."

"I love you, Kaede. Please never forget that, in life or in," she choked up at the last word, "death."

Kaede bowed her head and began to sob. She looked up at Kirumi, to say,

"Thank you."

She then advanced through the podiums, weaving through the throng of her friends. She placed a solitary, shaking hand on Kirumi's left cheek, and sobbed one more time before pulling Kirumi in for their first and final kiss. As she pulled away, breathless, she whispered loud enough that everyone could hear it.

"I love you too Kirumi. Hey, if you ever find yourself doubting yourself, think of that poem. The one by Mary E. Frye? I think?" She giggled before continuing, whispering the first few stanzas, and then skipping to the last line. A collar came forward, gripping her and forcing a sob out as she spoke her final words.

_"Do not stand at my grave and weep,_

_I am not there, I do not sleep._

_I am the thousand winds that blow,_

_I am the softly falling snow._

_Do not stand at my grave and cry,_

_I am not there, I do not die."_

Kirumi repeated these words, the distinct tones of her love's voice, over and over again in her head as she walked through the school in a daze. She couldn't bring herself to sleep for more than a few restless minutes, before the panic set in. She was _alone_ again. As much as she loved her job, being a servant, a prime minister, was hard, lonely work. Her only reprieve from the horrid cycle of sleeping and waking had been Kaede, but then-

Her breath hitched as she looked at where she had wandered. A small rose garden, isolated off of any known path. Kaede had shown her the place, and they used to come to the garden to watch the midnight come and listen to each other, and the sounds of the moon herself. Small orange rinds were scattered across the floor, from several instances they had came out and shared an orange watching the stars, and the moon doing her work.

It always went one slice for Kirumi, then one for Kaede. She had always insisted on peeling it and handing slices to Kaede first, but she was always waved away by the other girl. As she had put it, she just wanted for Kirumi to have a moment where she was free, not a servant to other people, but having someone else help _her._ The thought of no longer having that drew another sob from the breathless girl, and she dropped to her knees, some of the petals blowing in the wind. If she had been a passing bystander, she would have thought it was oddly poetic. Maybe snapped a picture to paint, or wrote a poem about it. But now, she was enveloped with grief. 

And, the seeds of a plan forming. She reminded herself to write that poem before she executed it.

\-----

"Ryoma, dear, have you thought about my proposal yet?"

The tennis player looked up to her, away from his Mono-Mono Pad, his eyes seemingly void and empty of all life.

"I wasn't sure... until I saw this."

He solemnly held the tablet up to her, the look in his eyes and the stance he took indicative that he was done. Nothing mattered to him anymore, the life fading out before his eyes. Kirumi knew that look. She still held it, though under lock and key behind the happy little maid façade she held up. After Kaede died, if she hadn't gotten her idea then, she would have offered herself up to everyone on a silver platter.

The video beginning to play, the intro just like hers. Then, Monokuma in a hardware hat appeared on screen, saying his deathly lines. 

"This message is for Ryoma Hoshi, the Ultimate Tennis Pro...

Unfortunately, there is no one in the world who is important to you!

I'm so sorry, really, I am. You have my deepest sympathies. 

Sorry, sorry, sorry."

She looked at him, and knew what she had to do. He nodded. She brought up a wooden pole with her arms, and slammed it down on his head, knocking him out instantly. The rest of her plan continued as "flawlessly" as she desired, leaving key clues on purpose. 

Soon, this will all be over, she reminded herself. She was even more sure of herself now than ever.

\-----

The magic show went flawlessly, and before she knew it, she was in the trial room. It took the new, snappy protagonist a minute, with him occasionally breaking into and out of a seemingly meditative state. He just looked like a cat with narcolepsy. (Little did she know, he was running down sex workers in a cool-ass car. Who could've guessed it? Sometimes the little inner workings of the universe made everything so much bizarre and interesting. But here, it was just another day on the job.)

As Shuichi worked out the case, he looked into her eyes with a renewed fervor and malice beneath his words, eyes, seeping out of his every pore. 

"You _promised_ to protect Kaede's wish. You loved her, and she loved you. What the _fuck_ could have gotten you to betray her like this."

Tears were falling from his eyes, and he looked as if he was about to throw a punch. Like two astrophysicists hotly debating string theory application, their fists wagging by their sides, their following conversation was a rapid fire debate only understandable to those in it. 

Kirumi shot first, firing off, "My wish, after I lost Kaede, was to see her one more time."

Shuichi quickly followed suit, and the debate fell into a rhythm. He was much more angry, more profane, than usual. It was like another side of his personality, edging out as he reached his wits end. Kirumi shorted out as well, both of them laying aside their "It's ok" mask to move on to something more convenient. Unbridled rage spouted up, with no care to how much they hurt the other. Only one of them would come out of this encounter, no matter what. They didn't want to waste their breath.

"No matter the cost? Whether or not it grossly defiled her final wish you so _desperately_ vowed to protect?"

"The ends justify the means. I should know that, as a politician in the control of many lives. Sometimes you make sacrifices. It all becomes ok in the end."

"Well like any politician, you don't understand how that truly applies! The way you say it, its like taxing the poor so the rich can become more wealthy. It only benefits you, and yet you have no problem with it because you're so far separated from what's really happening that you don't feel the negative effects! This is why I hate politicians, they never understand what a real sacrifice is. _Kaede_ knew what sacrifice is. That's why she gave up her life trying to kill the mastermind. Unlike you, stooping to murder for nothing more than a cop assisted suicide!"

Kirumi shot him a glare that indicated she meant business. She was glowing with fury now, along with Shuichi, like a binary system of red giants fated to rip each other to shreds.

"You would surely know, wouldn't you? All you've truly done to show her wish has affected you is taking off that stupid hat. Maybe Monokuma is right. Maybe someone will someday win against you, you lazy son of a b-"

Before she could finish, Shuichi had slammed through the middle of the trial stands and slapped her clean across the face. His eyes were full of tears, grieving both Kaede and Kirumi in the same breath.

"The same effect could have been derived from killing yourself. Why didn't you? Why spare the extra trouble, and take away her wish?

Why... did you do it, Kirumi?"

She took a moment to collect her bearings. Monokuma was slamming on a podium, practically wailing for order in the court. Once Shuichi was back at his stand, Monokuma yelled, "Good one kid! One for the books, dontcha think? But don't pull that shit again, or it'll be punishment time for both of y'all. So get crackin!" He snapped a whip that seemed to materialize in his hand, cracking through the air at the speed of sound.

Kirumi bowed her head for a moment, thinking of how to respond. She knew why, but it was hard to put it into words. 

"Ryoma wanted to die. After that motive video, he had no reason to live anymore, so he gave himself to me to allow me to achieve the same fate. I just... wanted to feel the pain she had felt as she died. To know what she had gone through, as punishment for not being able to help. To not even have known until you spelled it out for me, Shuichi. I needed to go the same way she did, I guess. Give it some kind of symbolic flare." 

As she said the last sentence, she waved her hands around wildly, palms forward, and then slapped them on the stand in front of her and began to laugh. It was a sound none of them had ever heard before, and under the circumstances, it chilled them to the bone. She began to cry as she laughed, and she pulled off her gloves and wiped away her tears. When she had no more left to cry, she handed her gloves to Shuichi, as Kaede had her music note clips.

"Keep them together, will you?"

Shuichi instantly knew what she meant, and nodded his head, slipping the gloves into his pocket next to the shiny clips of his lost best friend. Now he was about to lose another one, and he couldn't help but bury his face into her and sob.

"I don't know how I'm going to handle another death, especially not without you here to keep the peace. I love you so much Kirumi, even if just as a friend. I think I understand what you mean. I wish you the best."

He pressed the vote button with everyone else, sniffling faces all across the crowd, except for Miu, who was full blown sobbing and laying into K1-B0 next to her. 

"Goodbye, Kirumi." Shuichi whispered, as Monokuma unleashed the fatal sentence. Kirumi had not managed to finish her poem, every inspiration she got leading her back along that garden path. So she simply sung, as she walked into her own execution as if on autopilot.

_"I am the starshine of the night._

_I am in the flowers that bloom_

_I am in a quiet room._

_I am in the birds that sing,_

_I am in each lovely thing._

_Do not stand at my grave and cry,_

_I am not there. I do not die."_

And when she took her final breath, looking up to the stars painted on the ceiling, she thought she could hear Kaede calling out to her. Crying, she reached her hand up above her, reaching to the stars. She gripped what she could have sworn was Kaede's hand, and was dragged up to the heavens, all whilst singing that dreadful little poem.

**Author's Note:**

> hi sorry i wrote this to kinda cool my jets after getting home frm the psych ward, ill be updating everywhere at the end of time soon i *swear* lolol  
> plspls comment if u want to i absolutely adore reading every last one of them nd they always make my day hehe >:}


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